Writing in the Active Voice

As a general rule, cast your sentences in the active voice.  In the active voice, the subject of the sentence does the action. In the passive voice, the subject of the sentence is not the agent doing the action. Instead of writing, “The cat was kicked by Joe,” write, ” Joe kicked the cat.”  It means the same thing, but the ability to express an idea in fewer words helps to clarify your meaning and makes the readers’ job much more pleasant.  It doesn’t seem like much when dealing with a simple sentence–three words instead of five–but compounded over the course of an extended essay, this can represent a significant amount of extraneous prose.

Weak verbs: is, are, was,were, have, has, had, am,

Strong verbs: Any of the thousands of action words such as “run,” “study,” “eat,” “remember,” etc.

Examples:

Kenia is an author of novels.  (weak–passive)

(Revision) Kenia writes novels.  (strong verb–active)

Gary is a member of the club. (weak)

(Revision) Gary belongs to the club. (strong)

Yamen was of the opinion that it would rain today.

(Revision)  Yamen believed it would rain day.

John Prine “Picture Show”

John Prine “Picture Show (video)

These are the lines I would use to address Sontag’s comments regarding photography as a “tool of power” in her essay.

“A Mocca man in a wigwam sitting on a reservation.
With a big black hole in the belly of his soul
Waiting on an explanation
While the white man sits on his fat can
And takes pictures of the Navajo
Every time he clicks his Kodak pics
He steals a little bit of soul.
Every time he clicks his Kodak pics
He steals a little bit of soul.”

I hope you like Old School (Do any of you know who James Dean was?)

Picture Show

A young man from a small town
With a very large imagination
Lay alone in his room with his radio on
Looking for another station
When the static from the mouthpiece
Gave way to the sound below
James Dean went out to Hollywood
And put his picture in a Picture Show.
James Dean went out to Hollywood
And put his picture in a Picture Show.

Chorus:

And it’s Oh Daddy get off of your knees
Mamma why’d you have to go
Your darling Jim is out a limb
I put my picture in a Picture Show
Whoa Ho! Put my picture in a Picture Show

Hamburgers Cheeseburgers
Wilbur and Orville Wright
John Garfield in the afternoon
Montgomery Clift at night
When the static hit the mouthpiece
Gave way to the sound below
James Dean went out to Hollywood
And put his picture in a Picture Show.

Repeat Chorus:

A Mocca man in a wigwam sitting on a reservation.
With a big black hole in the belly of his soul
Waiting on an explanation
While the white man sits on his fat can
And takes pictures of the Navajo
Every time he clicks his Kodak pics
He steals a little bit of soul.
Every time he clicks his Kodak pics
He steals a little bit of soul.

Repeat Chorus:

Yie Hi! Put my picture in a Picture Show
Here we go!
A young man from a small town
With a very large imagination…

UCD T-Th (4:10-6:00), F (3:10-4:00)

Office Hours: I’ll be outside the cafeteria “north of the west quad” during the hours noted on the syllabus. A few of my students suggested that I describe to you my location by saying, “I’m on the south side of the MU, north of the west quad.”

Homework:

shawn@theswillbucket.com

Forms:

English 57 Syllabus

Rhetorical Modes

AWPE Scoring Guide

Online Collaboration Instructions

Journalist Robert Fisk speaks at Sacramento City College

On September 20th noted journalist and middle east war correspondent, Robert Fisk, spoke to a class on the campus of Sacramento City College. After reading the following article, I asked Fisk a question related to 9-11 :

“Robert Fisk: Even I question the ‘truth’ about 9/11”

Excerpt:  “But – here we go. I am increasingly troubled at the inconsistencies in the official narrative of 9/11. It’s not just the obvious non sequiturs: where are the aircraft parts (engines, etc) from the attack on the Pentagon? Why have the officials involved in the United 93 flight (which crashed in Pennsylvania) been muzzled? Why did flight 93’s debris spread over miles when it was supposed to have crashed in one piece in a field? Again, I’m not talking about the crazed “research” of David Icke’s Alice in Wonderland and the World Trade Center Disaster – which should send any sane man back to reading the telephone directory.

I am talking about scientific issues. If it is true, for example, that kerosene burns at 820C under optimum conditions, how come the steel beams of the twin towers – whose melting point is supposed to be about 1,480C – would snap through at the same time? (They collapsed in 8.1 and 10 seconds.) What about the third tower – the so-called World Trade Centre Building 7 (or the Salmon Brothers Building) – which collapsed in 6.6 seconds in its own footprint at 5.20pm on 11 September? Why did it so neatly fall to the ground when no aircraft had hit it? The American National Institute of Standards and Technology was instructed to analyse the cause of the destruction of all three buildings. They have not yet reported on WTC 7. Two prominent American professors of mechanical engineering – very definitely not in the “raver” bracket – are now legally challenging the terms of reference of this final report on the grounds that it could be “fraudulent or deceptive”.  (Robert Fisk)

As expected, Fisk responded with vigor although he never answered my question because he never heard it. If you listen closely, you’ll hear that before my question is even stated, Fisk latches on to his favorite 9-11 meme and doesn’t hear me. He steamrolls my question and answers as if I had asked, “Did George Bush “do” 9-11?” I asked nothing of the sort (I asked about middle eastern perception of 9-11 events) but my question got almost instantly transformed into a product of his imagination. In this regard Fisk is like almost everyone else!

Hear the short exchange:

The Swill Bucket intends to post the entire event. Stay tuned.

Dick Gregory Fasts for 9-11 Truth

It was so painful for me as my wife Lil and I watched the events of September 11, 2001 on television. Seeing a plane hit the World Trade Center (WTC) North Tower at 8:46, then a second plane hit the South Tower at 9:02. Shortly, we saw the firefighters and other first responders courageously going into the buildings hoping to extinguish the fires, but it was impossible to foresee what followed.

Then we watched in shock as nearly a dozen people were jumping from the upper floors to their deaths.

Read full story here: